Say these words to them: “I’m sorry, the more I like you it just gets hard for me to think about your sexual past.
It’s just been bothering me lately, but I’m working through it.
In a way, it feels like they cheated on you (and you can’t get it out of your head).
Unfortunately for them, they didn’t cheat on you, but they get treated as if they did.
Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist.
In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.
You don’t see the person as a whole…you see the perfect wedding night/pure marriage you’ll never be able to have if you stay with them. How they treat you, who they are, and how much you enjoy them should be hugely important factors. Some of those other qualities can be even more rare than virginity. But given that the rest of the world is full of one night stands, casual sex, and “hook up culture”, maybe the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has only had sex with one other person in the context of a long term relationship (or whatever) isn’t so bad.. Appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, your girlfriend/boyfriend may be much closer to your sincere, genuine idea of sexuality than he/she is to those “other” people’s warped and soulless view of sex.
Maybe they had sex before with one person but only a couple of times.
As the one who’s waiting for sex (doing the noble thing), the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has had sex before with one or more people may start to really piss you off.On the other hand, if they start feeling guilty about their past, then they didn’t deserve the beating you gave them.They’re a person who really wants to make you happy and to be with you, and you feel bad for hurting them over something they can’t control now.If you keep your head cool and look at this relationship calmly and rationally, you will see that it may not last forever, even though you may want it to. And then all of this stuff about sexual histories will seem kind of silly in retrospect.Or, on the other hand, you may see that this relationship going to last (in all likelihood), in which case it becomes important for you to work through your concerns with your partner.Unless you’re taking Barlow Girl’s stance on waiting till marriage (no dating until marriage), you’re probably going to date several people for various periods of time before you get married.